Letting Go of the “Shoulds” and Control
John Lakvold
Like every other human on earth, I like it when things go my way and become disappointed when they do not go my way. It is this internal “want” that dwells in us. These “shoulds” guide our lives as we create internal rules to govern our lives. We direct these “shoulds” toward ourselves, others, and the world. It leads to irrational beliefs that “Life should always be fair,” “It is awful when people violate the Golden Rule,” and “I do not deserve to be mistreated.” From these irrational beliefs come shame, anger, sadness, avoidance, and condemnation of others. With these feelings and actions, individuals become trapped in a prison of...
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